The Sky is Too Far
by amandark
Summary: Post series. As two struggle with the love for one another, an old danger is once again on the loose. Spoilers. Yaoi. Rated for Language.(KV,VM)
1. After

The Sky is Too Far  
  
Chapter 1 - (After)  
  
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It took him days. I remember, just last week, sitting in front of this very same window, inside this very same room, this same hotel, staring outside, hopelessly lost, searching for him, for just a glimpse of that outstandish red leather, or a flash of tinted orange glasses, for anything. I can remember how I'd been able to hold myself up, to not address the worry and fear, among other emotions, that writhed in the very pit of my stomach. I wouldn't let it get to me, because somehow I knew that I'd see him again.   
  
I don't know why I thought that, when I did finally see him, he would be untouched. I don't know why I thought that he'd be in wonderful condition, that he wouldn't need a recovery. Why did I think that, after a battle I can only begin to imagine, all he would need was some beer and a couple of doughnuts to get him back on his feet?   
  
I thought all that because I had grown to love him, as much as I am, wary to admit it, and in my mind, he was untouchable.   
  
How more wrong could I have been...  
  
It had been Thursday, hadn't it? I'm quite sure.. I remember I'd been trying to write our report, even though my mind was so completely scrambled, I couldn't think of anything other than him. Of Vash. I'd been dazing, when I realized that Milly was standing over me, her voice peeking into my daydream. "Meryl? Meryl are you alright?" I turned slightly, flicking my wrist as I glanced up at her, fashioning a rather unconvincing smile, though I'd hoped it would be enough for Milly.   
  
"Yes I'm fine! Just trying to finish this report, after all, we're still working, here!"  
  
"You're worried about Vash, aren't you?"   
  
Milly'd always been extremely perceptive when it came to someone's emotions, but I couldn't give in. My heart was screeching at me to tell her. Just tell her. She knew how I felt about Vash, and that may be true, but I wasn't ready to admit it to myself. Atleast, not outloud.  
  
"What? Worried about that bumbling oaf? Are you kidding? Why would I possibly be worried about him? I bet you that right now, he's probably sitting down enjoying himself a nice doughnut, just fine and dandy!"  
  
I'd tried to sound my most convincing, for her sake. I didn't want her to worry about me... not after all that she'd been through... not after all that. Whether or not she'd believed me, she nodded, smiling.  
  
"He'll be back, Meryl."  
  
How had she been so sure? I waited until she'd left the room, closing the door carefully behind her, before turning myself to stare outside at the dieing horizon, feeling my eyes' irritation and my throat clench slightly as tears threatened. Tears were so.. very, very persuasive.   
  
"Fine and dandy.."  
  
I don't know how long I finally let myself cry. Minutes? Hours, even? For however long, I cried into the palms of my hands, cried for the first time in a long while. It had almost felt cleansing.. almost. When I'd finally stopped.. I looked out the window, and almost screamed.  
  
By the time I reached him, I was out of breath, and a stitch was forming at my side, but I didn't care. He was back! I remember him lifting his head slightly, flashing a grin, halfway through his greeting, he erupted in a fit of coughing. I barely even noticed his brother, slung over his shoulder, unconscious, as my burning side and lack of breath was quickly forgotten. It was then that I realized I had been wrong, and he was going to need alot more than just a few doughnuts. I helped support him best I could, small as I am, walking back with him, watching as Milly strode towards us, as well.   
  
Now? I look back to that day last week and wonder why I didn't say anything to him right then. Why didn't I tell him? I felt that I should, that he deserved to know, or to atleast hear it from me. But I didn't. I had kept my mouth shut, aside from ordering him into bed once we'd secured another two rooms, one for him and the other for Knives. I had gone into Vash's room that night, to talk to him. To tell him everything. Just to empty my heart, and had found him fast asleep. I had thought, for some reason, that he'd still be awake, he had seemed fine when the doctor was in, cleaning and bandaging, and when Milly and myself had sat and watched him drink the soup we'd made.   
  
I'd waited too long, and now I had to wait longer, all the while my courage to tell him my feelings...  
  
...diminishing. 


	2. Whispered Nothings

The Sky is Too Far  
  
Chapter 2 - (Whispered Nothings)  
  
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He-ey! Heheh, I wasn't expecting to get so many reviews so quickly! ^___^ And such good ones, too. o_O;; So, thanks to all you who reviewed!! You all are my inspiration! Keep it coming! So, brought to you by (surprisingly enough) popular demand, it's.. Chapter 2!!! Oh, I almost forgot. No! The entire fic isn't from Meryl's POV (as you'll see here), I just thought it would be the easiest way to write that particular chapter. So be on the look out, POV's may be off and on here!  
  
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Meryl awoke suddenly, drowned in sweat (despite how cold the night was), her back rigid and every muscle in her arms extremely tense as she sat up, grasping the sheets around and beneath her. She remained that way for almost a minute, her breathing coming in short, ragged drags. Had it been a dream? It had to have been... She lifted a shaky hand, running the back of it over her cheek, confirming the thought that she had been crying in her sleep.  
  
What was wrong with her? Why has she been feeling so... fragile lately? It was such a foreign thing to her, she was usually much stronger than this, mentally, anyhow. Being in control? The thing which had always comforted her and earned her such respect in the past seemed to be deliberately eluding her. She had woken in tears, shaking in... what? Fright?  
  
Her dream had been most unnerving, in her current state. She had gone to him, to his room, and he'd been awake. Sitting on her knees beside his bed, turning her head to avoid all possible eye contact...  
  
"Vash, there's something I've been meaning to tell you..."  
  
"Yeah, Meryl?"  
  
His voice had seemed light... too light. A pause followed.  
  
"I... well, you see, for a very long time now, I..."  
  
"You what?"  
  
Had there been a hint of impatience in his voice?  
  
"Vash I love you."  
  
There had been a torturously long silence then. He hadn't responded until she had suddenly realized that his shoulders were shaking. She'd turned her head, watching him in hurt wonder. He was laughing? Tears had sprung to her eyes then (supposedly that being when her tears fell in her sleep, as well), her mouth hung open slightly in sickening disbelief.  
  
"It would never work out, Meryl. Come on, you know that! We're just too different... love me? Please! I think your overlooking something here."  
  
Had... he really? He had chuckled openly at that point, as if her stunned, painful silence was amusing to him. She had woken the next day, in that dream world, and he'd been gone, vanished without a trace.  
  
As she thought back on it now, she knew that Vash would never do or say anything like that... would he? He was such a kind, warm person... could he actually be so cold? It had been a dream. No, it had been a nightmare, and nightmare's tended to corrupt the people you love, right? The real Vash wasn't like that. But...  
  
Before she actually realized what she was doing, she found herself out of bed, her bare feet padding quietly across the floor. Still dressed in her nightgown (which, in all fairness, was more of just an oversized shirt), her feet led her to Vash's room, on something of their own accord, her hand reaching and seizing the doorknob. The utterly cold metal against her palm felt unreal, though it most entirely pierced her senses. She was awake now, and he was in there. No stupid stuff, alright? Get in, tell him, and get out. That was the plan.  
  
She hesitated though, noting, almost stallingly, that her knuckles had gone white from the decent amount of pressure her fingers applied to the knob.  
  
He's sleeping, Meryl.   
  
He's recovering.  
  
He won't hear you.  
  
But still. Maybe this was the perfect time to tell him. If he couldn't hear her, then he couldn't reject her, and although she wouldn't have the pleasure of knowing how he felt, she'd still have the lingering comfort that she'd told him. She'd let him know.   
  
In a way.  
  
Her mind made up, she ever-so-slowly turned the knob, pausing in the doorway, gray eyes scanning the dark room. She could see him, tangled in the sheets laying on his back, his "artificial" arm settled over his stomach, his other hung off the mattress slightly.  
  
She stood against the frame for a moment, admiring him from a far before proceding to tip-toe the short distance to his bed, crouching beside it. A very hesitant Meryl grasped his hand, noting how large it was compared to her own, and guided it back to the comfort of solid ground (well, solid mattress), though she held onto it, her fingers wrapping between his own.  
  
Was this allowed? She knew it wasn't much, but they were only friends. If he even considered them that much. Her original plan had been to simply check on him, as she often did, make her confession, and leave him alone. Since when was carressing his hand and admiring his face under the filtered glow of moonlight become a part of it? Ah... it didn't matter. She couldn't help it. Besides, he wouldn't notice anyhow!  
  
She watched him for a long time, prolonging this otherwise short visit. He was so beautiful (or was handsome more appropriate?), and his scar-laden body only added to that fact, in her own opinion. Her thumb brushed idly over the scar atop his hand on that thought, a soft smile tugging at the corner's of her lips. His hair was a mess, and stubble was growing along his cheeks and chin, but did that really make any difference? It was still Vash. She took a second to carefully brush away the rebellious gold strands that partially hid his sleeping face from her, smiling a bit more. Yes, still Vash.  
  
For some reason, she didn't feel so nervous anymore, in fact, she felt rather calm, which she appreciated to no end. Without even thinking of what to say, she simply did, her voice a gentle whisper within a dark room, essentially whispered nothings.  
  
"I really don't know when it started... my feeling this way, but I know it's been for a long time now. It hurts to keep it all in, but somehow I think you know the feeling, whether or not it's directed towards me."  
  
She paused slightly, the smile that lit her face softening a bit, as she listened to his breathing. It sounded slightly irregular, but she was too caught-up-in-the-moment for the change to fully register in her mind.  
  
"I know I should have told you before. Before this, but you have to understand.. I was just too scared. I know you deserved to know earlier, and it was rude on my part not to tell you--"  
  
Her mindless (yet rather deep) ramblings were cut short and replaced with something that could have just barely passed as a strangled whisper of a scream. She tried to push herself away from the bed, but found that the hand she had been paying attention to, was now paying attention to her. His hand grasped hers with a strength she didn't know sleeping men possessed.. but then again, he didn't exactly seem to be sleeping, she realized as she stared into a pair of very-much-so awake turquoise eyes.   
  
"Vash?! You're.. ah, you're awake??"  
  
Oh God how long had he been awake? How much had he heard? How much had he listened to? Oh... God I'd forgotten how brilliant his eyes were...   
  
"Meryl? Meryl where's Knives?"  
  
Ah, yes. Welcome home, Vash! Nice to know you appreciate all the help... But his voice was so urgent, and his eyes tore at her, although his hand let her go, she leaning back the slightest bit to support herself.  
  
"H-he's in the room, across the hall... sleeping, why?"  
  
But, of course, she recieved no answer. The instant Vash knew the location of his brother, he'd lunged out of bed, the sheets caught around his leg unable to help but follow him a bit along the floor, before being cast away. She could hear the turning of a knob (had the metal felt as surreal to him as it had to her?), the protestant creaking of a swinging door, and the latch as it was likewise closed. Nothing else.   
  
Minutes wore on as she sat there, still crouched, though leaning backwards this time, her gaze intent upon the window. She strained to hear something more, his voice echoing in her mind. That peaceful calm that she had become so enraptured with had entirely abandoned her, and once again she'd been left with that cold nervousness and uncertainty.   
  
A rather heavy sigh (forged from the very pit of her heart) passed in her throat as she finally stood, gathering the sheets that he'd momentarily dragged off the bed with him in his hurry to address his brother, and set to work replacing them over the bed, adorning the mattress in them with a certain kind of care.   
  
She scolded the burning sensation of tears and simply wouldn't allow this to get her. No. There was... there was time. A whispered choke tore from her throat as she ran out the last rather noticable wrinkle.  
  
"...that I love you."  
  
But he didn't hear her. 


	3. Cold

The Sky is Too Far  
  
Chapter 3 - (Cold)  
  
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Hello everyone! I apologize for the wait, I had my cousin over the past few days, but it's given me time to gnaw on this chapter as well as the next few! Thus meaning I might be able to update a little faster for a while here, hoorah! I'm sorry I made you guys (almost) cry, I didn't mean to... ¬___¬;; (coughcough) ..Er...Well! On to Chapter Three!!  
  
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Several days had passed now, without much happening. Milly and Meryl both spent their time brooding over Vash and his brother, while Vash himself spent most his hours sitting beside a sleeping Knives, his mind in a complete disarray.  
  
He hadn't seen either of the girls since yesterday morning, and even in the brief conversation they'd held over breakfast, he'd been able to tell... something was wrong.   
  
With her.  
  
He could hear it in her voice, and the way she moved constantly as though no certain way she sat was comfortable, but most of all, he could see it in her eyes. Or, would have saw it in her eyes, had she looked at him.   
  
He sat now, hunched over in the wooden chair that he'd dragged to set beside Knives' bed, staring at the floor with such intent, one might think he was expecting the floor boards to jump up and salute a "howdy-doody t'ya" any second. He was lost, though. His thoughts fell back to yesterday, to those quick moments.  
  
She wouldn't look into his eyes. Not directly, atleast. Whenever she did turn her head to glance up at him, her gaze had always been directed at his ears or his shoulders, or even his forehead.   
  
She'd been avoiding meeting his gaze while trying to make it seem as though everything was perfectly fine.   
  
He remembered, she'd been hunched over the table, clasping a cup of coffee, staring down into the half-empty cup when he'd wandered in, stretching and howling out a fine "Rrrr'aaah, Morning!" to them both. Milly had responded with the same enthusiasm as she always did....  
  
"Oh! Morning Mr. Vash! You look happy!"  
  
He'd grimaced, though rather sarcastically, taking note of the rather down Meryl.  
  
"Yeah? Y'think so? That's good, I am feelin' pretty fine!"  
  
A pause to address what was, in his opinion, a rather mysterious-yet-all-around-sexy look.  
  
Milly had laughed.   
  
Meryl still hadn't looked up from her coffee.  
  
He had begun to feel a bit concerned over her then. She hadn't responded to him at all this morning. It was.. out of place for her. His mind egged him towards her words that night.. when he'd awoken. He'd been listening to her, memories flooding back to him while she spoke in that hushed tone, and then he'd remembered, and had interrupted her.. wanting to know where...  
  
Now that he thought about it, what was it she had wanted to tell him? Somehow he had a vague idea, and glancing at her as he'd taken a seat beside her, something in his heart was being tweaked.   
  
"Heh-Hey! You look a little down'in the dumps there, Meryl. Sleep alright?"  
  
This was when she'd looked at him for the first time... or, atleast, pretended to look at him.  
  
"Yes, I slept fine. It was a bit... cold... though."  
  
She'd looked away, her gaze falling back to her cup. Her answer had caught him off-guard. Her voice had seemed so... empty. There wasn't even the slightest trace of the heel-nipping, tongue-biting Meryl that he so knew and cared for.  
  
Milly had blinked, leaning over towards Meryl then, (who wouldn't shift her gaze, still), looking a bit worried.  
  
"Cold? Are you feeling sick, Meryl?"  
  
She'd begun to shake her head, but Vash had cut in.  
  
"Well if you're sick, that means you won't be nagging at me all day long, and I fear that might mean the end of the world! Sleep, I say!"  
  
He'd been stunned into an uncomfortable silence, receiving from her exactly the opposite of what he'd expected. Lashing out, yelling, and head-throbbing knuckle-punches seemed out of her reach today.   
  
She'd turned and actually looked at him for the first time all morning, but what had really shocked him (and internally, scared him), was the fact that there had been nothing in that gaze. Nothing.  
  
"Yes, I think I will."  
  
She had left, leaving her cup behind. Still half-empty.  
  
He hadn't seen her since then, all day she'd stayed in her room. He'd passed Milly on his occassional route to the bathroom, or visit to the refridgerator, and she'd smile a bit warily, as if something was bugging her, as well.  
  
Now, it was rather early. What? 3AM? He'd barely slept at all, an hour or two at most, but now he felt rather awake. What the hell was wrong with her? She certainly didn't seem sick... just... quiet.   
  
(Empty..)  
  
He lifted his head, running a hand through his hair, (tugging at the blond strands a bit), glancing to Knives. He was still asleep... which was rather worrisome, but his mind was focused on Meryl right now.   
  
What had she wanted to say, that she'd felt for so long? Could it have been...  
  
He threw a rather heavy sigh, standing up suddenly, stretching aching muscles before quietly making his way out the door and down the hall, starting, waiting, and retrieving a grateful cup of coffee, taking a rather greedy gulp of the scalding black liquid, closing his eyes as it burned down his throat.   
  
What was it?  
  
He started back to Knives' room, his gaze slightly out-of-focus as he moved and concentrated on his thoughts, though this was all rudely, heart-wrenchingly interrupted as he passed Meryl's room.   
  
His brisk steps stopped a bit too fast, grimacing as hot coffee spilled over his hand, dripping on the floor. But that didn't really matter right now, because what he heard caught his attention, and held it fast, digging a clawed hand into his stomach.   
  
She was crying.   
  
He could hear her, and it tore at his heart standing and doing only that. Hearing her. He hadn't the slightest idea what could be troubling her so much... and the fact that he'd now witnessed her crying, sent him into a higher level of panic. She was.. crying.  
  
Unable to keep to himself, he rapped gently against the door with his knuckle, leaning against it slightly, though he wouldn't enter her room without her permission.   
  
"Meryl, are you alright?"  
  
There was a sudden stifiling of sobs, rustle of sheets and the creak of a mattress as he assumed she was quickly leaping back into bed, an attempt to make it seem as though everything were... normal.  
  
A false voice, portraying a tired owner.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine..."  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
Something like a loss of will to argue.  
  
"I'm fine, really-"  
  
A hushed request, uttered through a wooden barrier.  
  
"Please?"  
  
Surrender.  
  
"..... Yes."  
  
He opened and slipped through the door rather gracefully, moving as though he hadn't a care in the world to a smaller table where he set down his morning nourishment, gliding around the bed to sit at it's edge, next to her feet (which curled up beside her leg the moment he sat beside her), it creaking daintily in protest to his added weight.   
  
She had her head turned, staring out the window, cleverly hiding a face that he knew was stained and marked trails of tears. He followed her example, and gazed outside. Neither of the suns were up yet, it was morning, but it was dark.  
  
And cold.  
  
"What's wrong, Meryl?"  
  
His voice was all-too-serious, but she seemed undaunted, keeping up her act.  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
He took a brisk, yet still extremely patient tone.  
  
"Please don't lie to me..."  
  
She seemed to flinch, drawing back the slightest bit, her head bowing. He could see her eyes were closed.  
  
"Nothing is wrong, Vash. It's very early."  
  
Her voice seemed to waver and break slightly, as if she felt she were losing the battle. He was determined to win, and when he spoke again, his voice was nothing more than a thrumming whisper. He was looking at her.  
  
"It's also very cold, isn't it?"  
  
Her head jerked up slightly, her eyes open, those sooty hues deceiving her and portraying the exact astonishment and bewildered hurt that eluded her words. She stared at him for a long while, and he gazed back.  
  
Turquoise observing gray with a patient, attractive warmth.  
  
"Talk to me, Meryl."  
  
She felt as if she were going to burst into tears.. again. Why did he even care?  
  
"I ... I can't."  
  
His gaze never left hers, as she thought it would have, he didn't frown in disapproval and shake his head at her answer. But he didn't smile, either.   
  
"Alright."  
  
Why was he so patient? Why was he so understanding? Why didn't he try to pry the answer from her? Why was he Vash? Why did it have to be him? Why.... couldn't he see...  
  
Her throat clenched as she fought back tears that threatened to spill in their persuasive manner. She wanted, at that moment, more than anything else, to simply throw herself against him, for him to hold her tight, and cry into his shoulder, his chest, to him, just cry and tell him.   
  
But she couldn't. He'd never accept that. He'd never fall into and follow her dreams so perfectly.  
  
She finally looked away, back out the window, thankful for the act, and yet regretting it desperately. He remained where he was, still watching her, making her uncomfortable (and yet comforted at the same time), trying to, one last time, get her to tell him what was wrong. It was to no avail.   
  
She heard him sigh, closing her eyes as she felt the bed shift as he stood. She listened for his steps but was not rewarded with the sound, not, atleast, until after his finger had brushed her cheek, wiping away a single tear that had managed to escape.   
  
She listened to him leave, listened to the door shutting, to his steps down the hall, the door to Knives' room.   
  
He had left his coffee, but she didn't think he'd want it now anyway.  
  
It was cold. 


	4. Good Morning

The Sky is Too Far  
  
Chapter 4 - ("Good Morning.")  
  
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::Wicked grin:: I.. am so evil...  
  
...  
  
...::Sneezes:: o_o;;  
  
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The hours following Vash's visit passed by excruciatingly slow for Meryl, she remaining in the bed, sitting up and staring out the window, watching as the twin suns rose tiredly in the sky. Atleast someone seemed to have had a good night's rest.   
  
She didn't cry anymore, the last tear she'd shed had been simply brushed away by the man she loved before he'd left her alone.   
  
It bothered her, the way he simply up and left. She supposed that may have been what he was aiming for. It bugged her in the essence that it would just be so easy to pull him aside and confess to him.   
  
But would it be right? How would he react if she just suddenly tugged him outside or into an empty room and told him that she loved him... Just flat out told him. What would he say to that? Her mind, against her will, shuffled through several files, pulling out the memory of that dream. That wretched nightmare.   
  
She hissed in air through clenched teeth, bowing her head and burying it in the palms of her hands, trying to hide from it. To push away those images, that dread that hung heavy and menacing in her stomach, the screeching voice in her concsience that told her it'd never work.   
  
She had a low flame burning in her heart.  
  
That flame that represented hope.  
  
Flickering.  
  
The sound of heavy footsteps carried across her room and down the hall invaded her thoughts.  
  
She looked up from her palms, suddenly aware of the morning brightness.   
  
(Damnit Milly, what the hell are you doing up so early?)  
  
A scowl perched on her features, she decided that, despite how early it was, and how tired she felt, she'd go out and have breakfast with Milly, and act as normal as possible.   
  
For Milly's sake.  
  
She was such a sweet girl, and was just too innocent to believe. Meryl loved the girl fiercely, whether or not she showed it. She thought that despite Milly's child-favoring appearance, that the big girl was quite intelligent. Milly knew what was going on, and was not stupid. But she was like Vash, in certain ways. She centered her being on and clung to her beliefs of peace and innocence. Milly was pure.  
  
Vash was pure.  
  
He was so... so pure.  
  
Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she sat for a moment, lingering on her thoughts of.. him. It was though, as said, only for a moment before she stood, stretching arms high over her head and yawning for the first time. She hadn't realized how tired she was. Coffee would be good.   
  
Coffee...  
  
Nothing more than a glance to the cup of (cold) coffee that had been abandoned last night, before taking a pit-stop at the bathroom adjoined to her room, and then out and starting down the hall. She didn't bother to don the tights, skirt, or mantle. She just stayed in her "nightgown", rather convinced that after breakfast with Milly, she'd make a hasty retreat back to her room to catch up on some sleep.  
  
And to, hopefully, avoid him.  
  
She stretched casually as she emerged into the kitchen, her chin lifted slightly, eyes closed as she spoke through a yawn.  
  
"What are you doing up so early, huh?"  
  
She stood still, arching a brow as she finished her stretch-and-yawn.  
  
"Well... I thought I'd have some coffee,"  
  
Her eyes shot open. That wasn't... Milly.  
  
"because my first cup got a little cold. It's a shame how quickly the heat drains from the stuff, don't you think?"  
  
His voice seemed a bit gruff, and she imagined that he'd had about as much sleep as she'd gotten. None. But it was also soft, a quiet sincerity caught in his tone.   
  
A dusty pink flourished over her cheeks, which he in turn offered a gentle smile to. She remained where she was, her arms (that had been frozen momentarily in the air, stretch-positioning locked) simply hung at her sides, black-bruised strands hanging languidly in front of duel gray pools, which stared, entranced by a pair of certain turquoise-blues.  
  
He was leaning against the rather bland counter, dressed, still, in the sand-bleached shirt and darker pants that she'd last seen him in. His hair was still a mess, sticking every-which way in a crazy rush of blond. He hadn't styled his hair up in a while, but she didn't mind.   
  
Her thoughts, for reasons unknown to her, suddenly flocked back to the day she'd seen him without his shirt. Her blush deepened a great deal as she remembered the scars and metal that littered his body.  
  
("It's not exactly something I like women to see. I think most of them would run away...")  
  
His gentle smile widened a bit as he noticed the colour in her cheeks become even more intense.  
  
("I wouldn't run away.. What I mean is, they wouldn't run away.")  
  
He decided to break the silence then, offering a light chuckle, that gruffy edge to his voice sliding away.  
  
"Something wrong, Meryl?"  
  
She blinked, breaking from her reverie. His voice was awfully soft, and despite his words, the smile on his face seemed to give the impression that it's not exactly something he was worried about. Her gaze flashed to the counter, attempting to focus on that, rather than get caught up in his gaze again. Fumbling over her words...  
  
"Er, no! I'm alright."  
  
His smile stretched into a rather amused grin and he pushed himself off the counter.  
  
"Feeling a bit sick?"  
  
Her gaze stumbled back up to his, shaking her head a bit. What was so funny?  
  
"N-no, I'm feeling better, now..."  
  
He didn't respond, and it took her a second to realize why. He was taking long, yet casual steps towards her, making quick progress and shortening the gap between them.   
  
What was he doing?!  
  
She blinked, but before she had the chance to back away, he'd reached her, his arms wrapping about her small form, his hand splayed over the small of her back, holding her against him. He leaned down the slightest bit, that grin widening as he took note of the shock that was displayed over her features. He held for a short while, before his head bent slightly, his voice a low thrum that could almost qualify as a whisper.  
  
"...Still cold?"  
  
Her body was rigid in his embrace, her palms pushed against his chest, but not enough force applied to actually push him away. What was he doing!!!? She couldn't tell if he was being serious about this, or if he was just playing a cruel joke. And that hurt.  
  
The palms that pushed against his chest suddenly pulled into tight fists, clasping his shirt, her voice wavering slightly. She sounded.. desperate.  
  
"Vash?"  
  
She sounded as if she were going to cry again, and that wrenched at his heart. He understood that she was confused, and that he was hurting her right now. Not physically, no, but emotionally. He tightened his embrace, his artificial hand sliding across her back, his arm holding her to him, his "good" hand moving up and setting against the back of her head, fingers weaving through her hair.  
  
He closed his eyes as she exhaled heavily, and inhaled sharply, her hands moving from their defensive position and fell to encircle him as well, fists grasping to the material that covered his back now. That grin he flaunted softened into a more sincere smile as he felt her try to bury her head against his chest.  
  
"I'm sorry, Meryl. I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
A choked whimper tore from her throat as her hold on him tightened. He was apologizing...   
  
He didn't mean to hurt her. Was that the same as not wanting to hurt her? She didn't know but she liked to think that. She gave no reply, but knew that he understood. Her heart was pounding in her chest, she was amazed it hadn't leapt from her throat yet... She could feel his heart, too. A rhythmatic beating inside his chest, slightly heightened (though not as much as her own). It was.. so comforting.   
  
He'd hugged her before but... that had been a lot different than the embrace they shared now. For one, last time it had ended with a swift slap... eh...  
  
He suddenly tore himself away from her, and she couldn't help but give a muffled cry at his action. She jerked her head up and caught his gaze, which was even more apologetic now.  
  
Milly had arisen, and was heading down the hall.  
  
Only seconds and she was already desperately missing the warmth of his body, the security of his arms around her. It must have shown, too, because Vash started to move towards her again, but was interrupted when Milly shuffled into the room, glancing up.   
  
"Oh! Good morning Mr. Vash! And.. Meryl! You're up!!"  
  
A grey gaze lingered on a certain gunman before the petite form turned and nodded to Milly, offering a small smile.  
  
"Good morning, Milly.. I'm sorry, though, but if you'd both please excuse me, I'd like to get back to my room..."  
  
"But, Meryl?--"  
  
She cut Milly's curious protest off with a gentle shake of her head and a soft smile, passing by the younger girl with a great deal of resistence of the urge to simply turn and run back to the warmth of Vash's arms. She beat that urge, though, and made it back to her room, where she collapsed onto the bed and wriggled into the sheets, not even giving herself time to linger on the situation.   
  
She fell asleep clutching her pillow.  
  
Milly blinked, she and Vash staring after Meryl.  
  
One of them stared with a heavy longing in his heart.  
  
"Mr. Vash? Do you think she's alright? She's been acting so strange lately, I'm awfully worried!"  
  
Vash hid his frown and shrugged, turning to the coffee and pulling out two mugs.  
  
"Yes, she's fine. She's probably just tired, is all."  
  
Milly paused, gnawing on her lower lip a bit in thought, before nodding in agreement, and smiling heartily as he handed her one of the cups, full.   
  
They made due with short conversation, and Vash settled for a bagel before eventually sauntering back into Knives' room. He paused once inside, glancing towards the bed. Something was out of place...and then,  
  
"Good morning, dearest Brother." 


	5. Lunch

The Sky is Too Far  
  
Chapter 5 - (Lunch)  
  
---- -  
  
¬_______¬;;;;   
  
Sorry, I really had to think about this one. ::Sleepless grumble::  
  
Oh, and a quick warning; Flipping POV's, could be a bumpy ride!  
  
---- -  
  
"Won't you atleast give them a chance?"  
  
A pleading-yet-firm tone had since settled into Vash's voice. From the beginning of their discussion, the two brothers had been speaking quietly to each other, a hushed urgency needling in their voices, occassionally they'd even revert to the ever-handy mind speak, through the entire morning.  
  
It was nearly noon now, and Vash had yet to inform either of the girls of Knives' conscious state...  
  
...He'd been too occupied with it himself.  
  
Their confrontation had started a bit odd, for the most part, Vash feeling extremely uncomfortable under his brother's accusing livid blue gaze. He'd been at a loss of words.  
  
"Good morning, dearest brother."  
  
The statement had been spoken within a barrier of controlled, relaxed calm. He had spoken with such a care-free air that Vash had been slightly disturbed. It was so... casual.  
  
Knives was awake?!  
  
It would seem that he was more than just awake, in a way. He was sober. He portrayed no signs of dizziness, drowsiness, lack-of-memory... nothing. He looked as though he'd simply awoken from an unscheduled nap, rather than a comatose state of sleep.  
  
"What's the matter, Vash? Aren't you pleased to see me up?"  
  
Vash had finally found his voice, his slack jaw working a moment before words were formed.  
  
"Kn-Knives! You're awake!"  
  
A slate of annoyance had spread through Knives' voice, then. His gaze narrowing in disdain.  
  
"Yes, it would seem so, wouldn't it?"  
  
After that, Vash had stumbled to sit beside his brother's bed, his hands slightly raised as if fiercely debating whether or not to administer a crushing hug. Knives' upper lip had curled slightly and he'd leaned away, ready to lash out if he even tried to do such a thing.  
  
But Vash didn't, instead, he dropped his hands to his lap, leaning back in the chair, settling for muttering out an assortment of "how are you"s and other subtle praises.  
  
He answered Knives' questions without any hesitation for several hours, overjoyed to see his brother up and talking about anything other than his loathe for humans.  
  
Of course, all "good things" come to an end eventually, and Vash had known the subject would leak it's way into their conversation one way or another, and he'd gone dead-serious when the topic had finally surfaced.  
  
It had started with a knock on their door. Knives jerked his head up, his blue gaze centered on the area the knock had emitted, glaring at the door before turning and focusing his fury onto his brother, who stared back in a state of pleading calm.  
  
"Lunch is ready, Mr. Vash!"  
  
It was Milly, and Vash rose his voice slightly in response, clearing his throat, his gaze never leaving that of his brother's.  
  
"Alright Milly, thanks. I'll be out in a moment."  
  
Knives (thankfully) waited for the footsteps to skip-off out of hearing range before raising his voice, anger lacing and constricting familiar paths within the tone, accusing his twin.  
  
"You brought me to live with humans?!"  
  
Vash's expression didn't change, his voice low and pleading, and yet strangely firm.  
  
"Yes. They're my closest friends, and I'm sure they'll be yours, too."  
  
His brother's eyes widened,   
  
"SPIDERS, Vash!!",  
  
spitting out the word as though in some way it would poison him if it lingered upon his lips for too long.  
  
Vash's face had flushed in a sudden burst of involuntary anger, and he'd leapt from his seat, pulling his hands into tight fists, though kept at his sides.  
  
"They're not! They're nothing like that! You've never even given them a chance, you have no right..."  
  
His voice had simmered into a hiss.  
  
"They're friends."  
  
He'd delivered his point. Knives stared at him in an uncomfortable silence, the muscles at the corners of his mouth pulling taut.  
  
"Won't you atleast give them a chance?"  
  
The provoked color in his cheeks had dispersed, and he spoke in a quiet voice once more, his tone pleading yet insistant.  
  
He was rewarded with no answer, other than Knives turning his head to glare outside, focusing on one point in the sky, crossing arms over his chest. There was a heightened color in his cheeks present, but nothing else.  
  
Vash stood for another minute before sighing, lifting a hand to administer a feeble massage to the back of his neck.  
  
"I'll go get lunch."  
  
--  
  
I was surprised.  
  
I was feeling amazingly... good.  
  
Refreshed.  
  
Happy.  
  
I had gone back to sleep this morning with a jumble of emotions I didn't know were possible to feel all at once.  
  
I was bubbling with joy.  
  
I was depressed.  
  
I was angry.  
  
I'm being torn apart inside, but...eh, it's a love-hate kind of thing.  
  
Out of everything, I think I was happy the most. He'd hugged me! I know it wasn't the first time that it's happened, but in a way, it was.  
  
This had been a special hug.  
  
He'd never treated me like that, with so much gentle emotion directed to me, and just me!  
  
But of course, hanging over that is a sort of depression. You see, I don't know what he meant by it. Had he been expressing a suppressed love for me? Or had it been simple his way of showing he cared for a friend's well being?  
  
Lingering behind that, I can sense my own anger at him for confusing me like this.   
  
I was mad at him because...  
  
... because I don't know... what he was expressing.  
  
Despite all that, I woke up again feeling better than I have in a while. It had been almost noon when Milly knocked at my door, eventually, when I didn't respond, taking the liberty to just come in. She'd warned me that,  
  
"Too much sleep could be bad for you, Meryl, get up and help me make lunch, huh?"  
  
I had smiled (much to her surprise), and agreed. She beamed a smile, satisfied, and left me to myself.   
  
I took a shower, reveling in the more-or-less warm water, perhaps taking longer than was really necessary. After drying off efficiently enough, I'd covered myself with the towel, and sauntered into my room to fetch clean clothes, eventually joining Milly in the kitchen.  
  
I glanced up from the stove to eye Milly, who smiled as she wandered back in and sat at the counter.  
  
"He'll be out in a minute!"  
  
I nodded, returning her smile as I stirred the soup in front of me. It seemed to be all we could afford lately...  
  
Our paychecks were late.  
  
I paused as a door opened, and listened as the infamous idiot shuffled down the hall.  
  
My infamous idiot.  
  
Mm... I'd like to believe that.   
  
A grin clawed it's way over my face as the thought surfaced.  
  
I've caught myself, in the hour or so that I've been awake, absently grinning 6 times. I added another mark to my mental tally.  
  
I desperately tried to cover-up the grin for fear of being interrogated about it in the coming minutes, as he made his way directly to the counter, leaning against it and barking out a heart-felt "Hello!", to which Milly responded with, as always, equal enthusiasm.  
  
"Hello Mr. Vash! Hungry?"  
  
His stomach beat him to the answer, grumbling loudly. He tried to stifle the sound his stomach was emitting with one of his bellowed laughs.  
  
"Yeah, you bet!"  
  
His eyes lit up and he suddenly fumbled over to the stove to stand beside me, leaning down a bit with a rather dreamy look crawling over his expression. He offered a mischievious chuckle while lifting the lid that I'd placed over the pot only a moment before, getting a good whiff of lunch.  
  
"Mmm-ah! Smells good!"  
  
I quirked a brow and snatched the lid back, setting it beside the stove, closing my eyes as I stirred the soup one last time, speaking in a matter-of-fact tone.  
  
"Of course it smells good... How do you think it'd smell, hm? Or are you trying to imply something?"  
  
I meant to follow through with an accusing glare, but was thrown off guard, the blood rushing to my cheeks as I glanced up at him. He was smiling at me in a way that I've rarely seen from him. His eyes twinkled with a kind of gentle amusement and he twittered a soft chuckle in his throat.  
  
I fumbled for words a bit, before mentally slapping myself, scolding for what could only have been stupidity on my part. I asked him to take out the bowls.  
  
His grin widened (my blush deepened) before he turned and opened a cupboard, pulling out...  
  
...four bowls?  
  
"I think you grabbed one-too-many there, broomhead."  
  
His grin fell into a smile and he only shook his head, setting the bowls on the counter.  
  
Milly chimed in, a bit confused.  
  
"But... why'd you get four?"  
  
He turned to encompass Milly in his view as well, the smile still playing on his lips, his voice a bit softer, though.  
  
"Because, there are four of us here."  
  
I was about to politely ask Mr. Typhoon here just what exactly, had he received the blow that'd finally knocked whatever was left of his brain, out, when I realized what he meant.  
  
My eyes widened and brows lifted a bit, turning to him.  
  
"So he's..."  
  
Vash nodded slowly, looking from one of us to the other, a gentle sincerity present in his gaze as well as his voice.  
  
His lovely turquoise gaze...  
  
I snapped myself away from my reverie as I heard his voice.  
  
"I'd like you two to come and meet him, later. It'd really make me very happy if you both did, I still have to talk to him about things right now, though."  
  
I glanced to Milly, who still seemed rather wrapped in her thoughts, before returning my gaze to Vash, who in turn lowered his own to me.  
  
"Of course, Vash..."  
  
I smiled for extra emphasis, and was almost startled when i felt him grasp my hand and give it nothing more than a thankful squeeze.  
  
My fingertips were... tingling.  
  
I was caught in his gaze again, and wished with all my heart that he'd hug me again, like he did this morning.  
  
It already seemed like it'd happened too long ago, to me.  
  
I don't know what was going through his mind, but the empty lonliness that I saw in his eyes... it tore at my heart.   
  
I think he realized that I'd seen it, too, because he let go of my hand, a dusty pink rising to both our cheeks.   
  
I looked away abruptly, glancing to Milly who had her back to us, leaning against the table, gazing outside. I sighed before quickly dishing the soup into the bowls, setting Milly's and mine at the table.  
  
Vash disappeared down the hall again, after chirping a,  
  
"Alright well, I'll come and get you guys when he's ready, okay? Later!",  
  
two bowls of soup making the trip along with him.  
  
Milly and I ate in silence, a bit nervous.  
  
Knives was awake.  
  
What did that mean for us? 


	6. Never Put it Aside

The Sky is Too Far  
  
Chapter 6- (Never Put It Aside)  
  
---- -  
  
Hrr.. Look who's back! I've been neglecting this story, I know, and I'm sorry. You can thank my friends for kicking my butt into writing this chapter again, for those of you that care. ^-^; Shifting view-points, keep up if you can!  
  
---- -  
  
After everything I've done to him, he's still willing to forgive me. Still willing to let me live, despite the fact that I've killed.. Destroyed, devastated everything he believes in. Or, tried to. His mission in life was to bring peace, to make an Eden for everyone. Mine was to destroy it, to have Eden just for ourselves. My mission, was to, in theory or not, destroy him. Not as much physical death, as it is mental.  
  
Apparently, I have failed.  
  
I.. don't appreciate failure.  
  
How could he still be living, in such ease? He had killed. He had sinned. In the time of our long, long lives.. He had finally, truely sinned... He had betrayed Rem. He should be in Hell, right now.. He should be writhing, screaming in his imagined pain, knowing that he had deceived his beloved, perfect Rem. Eternal pain and God DAMNED suffering.  
  
Not dancing about like the disgusting, human-loving fool he was, acting like there wasn't a care in the world... Hugging them. I know what he did. I didn't have to see it to know. I could sense it. Our bond is more than just the ability to speak to each other, mentally. You knew when the other experienced pain, if you focused enough, you could feel what the other was feeling. I felt it. Fucking felt it.   
  
It's not something I wanted to be feeling, right after waking up. Felt sick. Hate him for it.   
  
How dare he bring me here, to live with these crude beasts. These humans... these spiders. Somehow, he seems to hope it'll change my mind. Being with them? Change my mind, my views? No.. So far, it's only strengthened my decision. They need to die. They all need to die. I know that now. I've learned. Our Eden was never meant to be. MY Eden, is what is meant to be. They're all going to die. I'll kill them all... Him too. They don't deserve to witness the creation of my Eden, they don't deserve it. Neither does he. He can die with the rest of them.. He's betrayed me.   
  
I don't understand, how he can care for such insignificant things as humans. Doesn't he hear.. Can't he sense our siblings? Our brothers and sisters? Has he really become so out of touch, that he can't sense them?   
  
I can. I hear them, sense them.. Feel. I feel it. Our fellow plants, our brothers, our sisters.. Enslaved by those humans.. Screaming. The screaming, it never stops. Never, never stops.. And it never will. They're killing them. Leeching off their blood, off OUR blood.. The screams of the dieing, the dead and deceased.. Going on and screaming, yelling in eternal pain, even after death. I hear them, all of them. It drives me insane.   
  
So why can't he? Their never-ending bloodless cries won't reach his ears, his mind.. And I don't understand why. How is it possible, that in only 140 years, he's become so oblivious to them.. To us, that he can't even sense it? It all eludes me.. But I know, that this has to stop. Everything has to stop. Time has to stop, humans have to stop.   
  
Vash has to stop.  
  
I have to kill it. Him, them, everything. Nothing on this filthy planet deserves to live. Nothing, except me.   
  
I tried to be patient with him, but he hasn't changed. He won't open his eyes and take a fucking look around. He just hides, runs away. Buries his face in his hands and cries, like the damned baby he really is.   
  
Fucking coward.  
  
--  
  
Just an hour after lunch, the most desolute silence fell over this stupid house. Vash just left.. He's still in Knives' room. Talking to him, I guess. Milly left, too. I don't know why, but after what happened earlier.. After finding out that Knives was.. awake.. She just.. went quiet. It's scaring me, because it's not like her. Even after.. after Wolfwood... She wasn't quiet. She cried, but she talked, too. She only said she was going to go take a walk, before she left today.   
  
Is it too much to ask, for everything to be alright? For everything to be nice, and peaceful?   
  
But... Why am I even asking? Isn't everything already peaceful? It's so quiet.. that's peaceful, isn't it? .. Isn't it? I always used to clarify that word, peaceful, as being quiet, calm.. Relaxing. But more than anything, just quiet. So, why don't I feel like it's so peaceful, right now?   
  
There wasn't any yelling.. I couldn't even hear them, Vash or Knives. So why.. why do I feel so terrible? After.. after yesterday.. I don't want to be feeling like this. That joy I felt this morning just kind of.. slipped away. Fell through my fingers. Right now.. I feel like I'm missing something. Something's wrong. Something is terribly, horribly wrong... I can feel it.   
  
It's frightening.. It just pulls at my gut, telling me it's coming. Not when, just that it is. It's coming, soon.. very, very soon..  
  
.. But.. what?  
  
What is it?  
  
I have this feeling of desperation, that I'm missing something.. Something very important, and.. if I don't find it, I'm going to lose it. That's what I feel.. But, I don't know what it is. Information? Is there something I'm not being told? Is there something--  
  
--  
  
She hadn't even heard him leave the room, stepping down the hall, entering the kitchen. Had been so occupied.. wrapped up in her thoughts..  
  
The petite girl was still at the counter, her soup little more than half finished, pushed to the side, she leaning forward, arms crossed and settled over the counter-top, her chin resting in the crook of her arms. He couldn't see her face, her back was turned to him.. But he got the distinct feeling she was staring out the window. Staring out at nothing. Heh.. It was, a familiar position, wasn't it? Sure. He happened to find himself in it so, so much...   
  
He was smiling as he approached her. Wasn't anything too vibrant, just.. A smile. Reaching out a hand and resting it on her shoulder, offering a little shake.  
  
"Meryl?"  
  
--  
  
It's sickening.   
  
He has feelings for them. FEELINGS. These two women, he cares for them? Why? They do nothing but follow him. Follow and pester him. Nothing but a nuissance. If two filthy spiders were following them around everywhere, watching their every moves, always, always there... Would they care for them? No. They wouldn't. They'd kill them. Kill the spiders, because they're just an annoyance. Pests. Those stupid humans wouldn't have put up with two spiders tailing them, so why does Vash?   
  
They would kill such spiders.. Kill them.   
  
...  
  
..Hm.  
  
--  
  
The young woman jerked slightly upon feeling an odd warmth over her shoulder. Realizing it was a hand.. It was Vash's hand, she turned around, blinking before smiling at him. Cover it, Meryl.   
  
"Oh! Hey Vash..."  
  
He watched her a moment. Totally sincere. He was concerned.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Me? I-- Of course I'm alright! Why wouldn't I be, you idiot??"  
  
Nice Meryl.. Very, very nice. Smooth.  
  
"Er--Oh. Yeah, heheh.."  
  
My my. Wasn't this awkward?   
  
The blond Outlaw stepped back, right hand that had a moment before been placed over the dark haired woman's shoulder, now rubbing at the back of his neck, looking a bit apprehensive, nervous. Wanted something.  
  
"Vash? What is it?"  
  
"It-- Well. We.."  
  
We?? We.. we what? Was he talking about.. Did he mean.. them? The two of them? That hug...  
  
She waited patiently, looking at him almost hopefully, though she wasn't really aware of it.  
  
"We.. we're out of doughnuts!"  
  
...  
  
Doughnuts? It.. it would figure.   
  
A slim, dark brow arching high, looking at that man. Grey hues narrowed, shooting one of those venemous glares, which, as intended, took immediate effect. Vash leapt back, giving a nervous, shouted bark of laughter, shoving hands out in front of him and shaking his head.  
  
"No no! I- I was joking!! What I meant was... I think, that Knives is ready. To meet you."  
  
"Knives? He.. But Milly isn't here."  
  
"That's okay.. Would you atleast meet him? Please?"  
  
That carefree air was suddenly gone. Vash was pleading, and Meryl was trying to slink away. She didn't want to meet Knives. That horrible creature... She didn't want to show any kind of gentle hospitality towards him. She didn't want to know him. She wanted to know Vash, but... But he was asking her.   
  
"... Alright."  
  
His smile brightened, seeming to perk at the thought almost instantly. Why was he.. So eager for her to meet his brother?   
  
"Great! C'mon!"  
  
Before the Insurance agent had a chance to reply, the Outlaw had grabbed her sleeve and was dragging her along down the hall.  
  
Down the hall, right towards Knives' room.  
  
--  
  
She'll be the first. 


	7. Hello

The Sky is Too Far  
  
Chapter 7- (Hello)  
  
---- -  
  
It was... A long day. Heh, now isn't that just the understatement of the day? Oh no, that day, it just seemed as if it were never going to end. Milly had been gone for more than an hour, and still, after "meeting" Knives, as Meryl sat in her room, ashamed of the sobs that racked her body, and as Vash's yells at his twin could be heard through the hall, she was yet to return.  
  
She hadn't put up much of a fight as the gunman pulled her down the hallway towards his brother's room. She felt.. Strange. Wasn't feeling well, didn't have the patience to begin an arguement with him. She was.. She was in a daze, her thoughts trapping her in her mind. She wanted him to stop hiding from her, she wanted him to tell her how he felt. If she had misinterperated his embrace for simple sympathy, or if it had really meant something.   
  
He didn't want to. He didn't want to talk about it, because he wasn't all that sure of it himself. So, instead, he pretended as if it hadn't happened, because he couldn't deal with it now. Because he needed more time. It had been a spur-of-the-moment type of thing, much as it may have seemed otherwise.. He hadn't understood what he was feeling. He had felt sad for her, because she was wearing a mask too. When he'd seen her walk into the kitchen, she'd been all smiles, all work-hard Meryl, chirping to a supposed Milly. He knew, that she had been hiding her problems, her hurt, for Milly's sake. He had felt bad, and sorry for her.. Because...  
  
That, is what he did.   
  
At the door. His hand letting go of her, grasping the handle and turning it, leaning his shoulder gently against the door and peeking his golden head in to see if Knives hadn't simply turned over and gone to sleep. A smile present on his face. A blank, distraught needling of brows in hers.  
  
"Knives.."  
  
He had swung the door open, stepping into the small room, taking Meryl's hand again and leading her in, smiling gently still, as his twin sat up in the bed slightly. Glaring.  
  
She'd seen him before, but not awake. He frightened her.. God how he frightened her. She had imagined his eyes were to be something similar to that of Vash's.. A soft, greenish-blue.. But no. They were cold. Glaciers. Filled with nothing but an absolute loathe as the platinum-blond twin glared at her.   
  
She wanted to hide from him. Hide from Knives, wanted to hide behind Vash. Wanted to hold onto him, wanted him to hold her, keep her safe from that awful, hating man. But she couldn't. Why? Because, quite simply, she was Meryl. She was strong and independant. She didn't need the support of another. She was a hard worker, a respectable person, with a swollen amount of pride and a temper to be reckoned with.   
  
She was Meryl God-damned Stryfe.   
  
Atleast.. That's what she had thought. But lately, she's been finding it harder to stay that person. Found it hard to live up to the expectations of her own self. She needed to try, though..  
  
So she stepped away from him, From Vash. And, stepped towards the bed, despite the terrifying gaze of that monster, she approached him, forcing a smile and holding out a hand.  
  
"Hi, I'm Meryl."  
  
Friendly. She'd even managed a nice, gentle little voice. Nice start, so far. She didn't think it could have been much better, could it have?  
  
That man.. His hateful gaze dropped to her hand, a light brow raising curiously, wrinkling his nose slightly, the corner of his lip lifting in an expression of distaste. And, he gave.. A snort of short, icy laughter. He was.. laughing at her? Oh yes, Yes he was. Wide grey eyes stared at him as he started to shake his head, pushing himself back against the bed a bit more, inching away from her, another bark of small snickers in his throat. That laughter was derrogatory in itself.  
  
--  
  
Oh! Oh dear, this is just too amusing...  
  
She wants me to shake her hand?? Really? That's very brave of her, this one that will be the first.. Meryl? Oh yes, very brave indeed. She's certainly got the courage that her "job" would require, doesn't she? But.. I just..  
  
I really didn't know how to react. I wasn't sure which to do: Recoil and spit out numerous insults, in disgust at the very idea of touching her grimy little hand, or, to simply throw my head back, clutch at my stomach and laugh, to think that she'd even dream of my ever gracing her with my touch!   
  
--  
  
It's degrading. Hurtful. He's just sitting there.. He drew away from me the slightest bit, but now he's just laughing.   
  
I don't want to be here, anymore. I want to become invisible, to just be able to be in my room, and cry by myself. Not here, though.. I can't cry here. But, his chuckles.. His amusement, are eating away at my nerves, at my tightly-woven defenses. I can't break down, I can't cry.. not in front of him. Not in front of Vash, either. I'm too strong, I'm better than this.  
  
Damnit Meryl, don't cry!  
  
--  
  
Her hand had since dropped to her side, awkwardly. She'd taken a slight step back, was now lifting both hands and wringing them nervously. She hang her head, staring at the floor space directly in front of her feet. She heard Vash step forward, a rising growl in his throat, but before the Outlaw could say anything, could do anything about it.. Knives' laughing had stopped. Had tapered off into a soft chuckle, and then, was simply.. gone.  
  
Vash's treading stopped, and he simply stood behind Meryl, staring at his brother, brows drawn tight together. He wasn't happy about this, was he? No. He had asked Knives to meet her, and he had said fine. He had said he would be nice, that he wouldn't do something like this.   
  
And Meryl looked.. She looked hurt. Looked like she was trying, so hard, not to shed a tear, not to gasp out a sob.   
  
So far, she had succeeded.  
  
--  
  
Hmm.. Wouldn't it be fun, though.. To fuck with her head?  
  
Oh yes, here we go.. We can sacrafice this, just once.. Go ahead, if she infects my hand, if my flesh starts to rot away, I can just escape.. It'll be easy. I'm stronger than Vash thinks I am, I've recovered faster than he's expecting me to. And he doesn't know it.  
  
But I do.  
  
--  
  
She could hear the ruffling of blankets, and the mattress straining, creaking slightly as the man in it suddenly sat forward. Her head jerked up and she nearly cried out, nearly yelped in frightened panic, as a very large, pale hand grasped hers.   
  
Firm. His grip was firm, and harsh. It was biting, he was hurting her.   
  
And, she had a feeling, that's what he'd wanted.  
  
Grey hues widened in a terror that she hadn't been able to hide, and absolute shock, as that awful man shook her hand. She stared at him, and he stared straight back. Glaciers critically surveying dark clouds. And he was smiling. That's what tore, ripped at her the most. He was smiling. As if he were the most friendly guy in the world, and was happy, glad even, to have the privelege to shake this lovely lady's hand.   
  
But it was wicked. His lips were curved in a wicked, purposeful smile.   
  
"Hello Meryl, I'm Knives. Nice to meet you."  
  
Vash's gaze had widened as well, and he stared at his brother in near-shock. He couldn't believe that he.. Was doing this.   
  
Meryl was shaking, he could see her. He wanted to reach out and catch her, hold her and comfort her, take her away from his twin's touch, his brother's awful teasing. But he didn't have the chance, because she had already tore her own hand away from Knives', stumbling back with a cry and bumping into Vash's chest.  
  
She turned around immediately, her head bowed, as she hands clutched at the golden blond's bleached shirt, before she quickly ran out of the room, attempting to hide it.  
  
But he had seen. He'd seen the tears in her eyes.  
  
And Knives had, too. 


	8. Kiss Me

The Sky is Too Far

Chapter 8–(Kiss me)

---- -  
Mm.. It's been a while, huh folks? I apologize for the.. long wait. I just got sick of this story—but hey, I think I can continue with it now! I've got a load of ideas for it, and may revise the earlier chapters in a while. Mystery, action, and maybe some romance up ahead!

---- -

She had been shopping. Waking up a bit late, Milly had felt bad for leaving the chores to Meryl, and Mr. Vash was always so busy recovering his brother. She had felt obligated to help in at least some way, and so she had gone to pick up some needed groceries.

To tell the truth, it had only taken her 20 minutes– maybe half an hour at most, to gather and pay for the groceries in all, but she had gotten sidetracked. There was a church here, and it was really a fine place. It's walls were high, and it sported those pretty stained glass windows, depicting scenes of religious charity in such bright colors, they would cast colorful reflections over the rows of wooden benches. _Wooden_. Wood was expensive, the church must raise charity.

There was no reverend preaching his faith, the podium itself was empty, beside an intricate rendition of the Bible standing open upon it. There was an old woman at the organ, sheltered to the right of the wall. She wore a dress whose floral print and colors starkly contrasted each other and didn't look good at all; Milly smiled. The woman's fingers were gnarled– not calloused, but arthritic. Yet she played, hunched over the two levels of long keys. And oh, what a beautiful song it was!

Milly shifted, clasping the several bags of groceries in her arms as she stood just inside the door. She hadn't really meant to _visit_, just to look. It was not of her own accord that she quietly migrated to a bench nearest the door and sat down, setting the bags at her feet. Several other people– most of them women– were gathered here. None spoke, but they still all seemed to share something. Everyone sat, dotting the benches here or there. It was not Sunday, nor Tuesday, and there was no Mass being held, but they were here. Milly's smile softened slightly, and something slipped in her chest. She bent her head forward, losing her smile all together as she rested her forehead against the back of the bench in front of her, her hands clasping over her chest, where her heart beat within her ribcage.

_Oh, Mr. Priest... Wolfwood, nothing is right anymore! Mr. Knives isn't what I thought he would be, and Mr. Vash has changed. Meryl's different, too. She loves him, you know. She needs to tell him, but... Oh Mr. Wolfwood, I just don't know! I wish I knew how he felt– about her. It isn't fair. And you... if you left me with a..._

Milly was startled awake by a hand touching her shoulder. The big girl gasped, holding a hand over her mouth and staring at the man kneeling beside her. He smiled at her, squeezing her shoulder. "I'm sorry miss, did'ne mean to scare ye."

"Oh, I... No, it's perfectly okay!" Milly laughed, dropping her hands to her lap, grasping her pants in a fit of embarrassment. "I... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been sleeping here."

She didn't pause to offer the stranger more than that, suddenly flustered about Meryl and the rest at home. How long had she been sleeping here? They'd be worried! She fumbled with another apology, gathering her groceries up in her arms again and slipping past the man, feeling guilty for not talking to him a bit more, but she couldn't help it.

The door was unlocked when she got home, and she hurried into the house, glancing at the clock as she bustled toward the kitchen. It was nearly five– she'd been gone for almost two hours! She hiccupped a distressing gasp and worked with determination to unpack all of what she'd bought and put it away. She thought she'd start dinner soon; Meryl usually cooked, but Milly supposed it would be fitting to give her superior a break.

She didn't realize how much her partner really did need a break.

--

Meryl turned, pulling her knees closer to herself. She looked as if she were trying make herself as compact as possible. She had quit crying– or, sobbing anyway. Her eyes stung and her skin was tight where tears had slid. Her pillow soaked most of them, reminding her that she had broken down, and in a fit of something that was almost hysteric, she gave a growl of frustration and threw it to the side. It landed on the ground with a thick plop, and it was somehow not enough to satisfy the rage boiling inside her.

How _could_ she? How could she do something like that? She hated Knives, truly hated him, but she was angry with herself for being so childish about it. He scared her, and instead of acting the adult she was, she had broken down and fled from him, which made her desperately furious with herself.

She couldn't sleep, so she lay in her dreary room, smothering her rage against herself.

Vash wasn't yelling anymore, but she would sometimes hear one of their voices raise– usually Vash– only to quiet again. She wondered what he had been yelling, what they argued about.

A door opened and closed, and a few seconds later there was a loud fuss in the kitchen. Milly was home. She had gone shopping, considering the sound. Then, dinner should be made.

Meryl sighed and flattened her palms against the mattress, pushing herself up. She sat on the edge of her bed, her legs sliding over and feet pressing against the floor. She took hardly a minute to comb slender fingers through obsidian hair and rubbed at her cheeks, sniffing in a hopeless attempt to keep her partner from becoming suspicious. Feeling presentable, she stood and slipped gently from her room, treading through the hallway to greet her partner in the kitchen.

She sidled up beside the girl and helped with the remaining groceries. "Milly. You've been gone so long..." She commented heartily, summoning a smile.

Milly's own smile was wide and she nodded, something apologetic in her mannerism. "I know, I'm sorry. I got a little distracted. That church, down the street? It's very nice." She said solemnly, and Meryl hesitated, slightly taken aback.

Glancing at her partner with something a kin to pity, she divested a nod and stored a coffee tin in the cupboard. _Coffee_...

"I thought I'd make dinner! A stew, my Big Big Sister taught me the recipe when I was little. I don't have it written down, but I think I can remember most of it." Milly's voice startled Meryl, and the shorter woman looked at her partner with a vague eye of apprehension. "Ah... well, okay." It didn't seem like a good idea, but Milly must have been thinking about Mr. Wolfwood if she'd been to that church, so Meryl thought it best to keep the girl happy. "You need any help, then?" Meryl smiled.

Milly smiled more and nodded. "Oh yes! Could you get a pot? I think Mr. Vash and Mr. Knives will really like this, sempai. My sister's stew was always the best!"

Meryl fumbled with the pot she had drawn out, setting it on the stove with a loud clatter. She frowned, wringing her hands and turning to her partner. "Oh, Milly... I don't think they'll be out for dinner."

Milly looked disappointed, but not truly hurt. "Bad day, huh?" Meryl offered a grim nod. "Then I'll just save some for them!" She compromised happily, pulling ingredients from the cupboards they'd just restocked.

The girls cooked together, and shared quite a few laughs. They ate beside each other at the table, and talked long after their dishes had been set in the sink. Neither of the twins ever surfaced in their conversation, but were rather skated around. They both went to bed not long after.

--

He had not been surprised by his brother's ranting, but he _had_ been somewhat startled. He hadn't expected Vash to express such irate anger. The younger twin was absolutely livid, his cheeks reddened and his eyes a diluted sensation of their natural hue.

Knives had remained collected, calmly observing his twin's reaction, bearing a sturdy gaze with his other half. He didn't flinch when Vash's rose, he didn't turn away or fight back. But at some point, his brother's fury triggered something within him. It occurred to him how much Vash must really care for that creature, and it filled him with such blatant excitement he felt practically giddy.

"You love that short _whore_, don't you?"

Vash's eyes darkened and his blood boiled, and he was absolutely furious. The angry color in his cheeks had extended toward his neck, and he was so fucking beautiful like that. His voice lowered, hoarse. "What did you say?"

Knives grinned, sitting up a smidge straighter, stippling his fingers over his knee. Vash was just so beautiful, and such a stupid child. "You're mine, brother. You know that."

"I am not _yours_."

"You remember, back then? When we were younger? You were mine then."

"No. I wasn't."

"Oh, but Vashu... I _asked_ you, remember? 'Vashu, can I kiss you?' What did you tell me?"

"...."

"'Yes.' you said. 'Vashu, kiss me.' And you? What did you say _then_? 'Yes.' and you kissed me in the dark, whenever I told you to. You were mine. You are."

Vash stood, his eyes wide as he stared at his brother's proud smile. _Proud_. And God, he remembered.

"My... Vashu." Knives cooed softly, fierce blue eyes watching his brother. "_Kiss me_."


	9. No such Saint

The Sky is Too Far

Chapter 9–(No such Saint)

---- -  
Okay guys. I wasn't originally going to do this, but now I feel it's my obligation to reply to all of you; as a general public, at least.

If you're close-minded about homosexuality, then I apologize; but I'm going to ask you guys to _please_ not review if all you're going to do is tell me "oh, gross!!" Because, truth be told, I really couldn't care less.

On another note! You can't really expect the intimacy between the twins to be much of a surprise; they were raised in an environment without any other children- they wouldn't have _known_ the limit to intimacy between siblings. I'm not going to get into this, but I'm not going to just drop the whole "yaoi" factor of this story—it's a major key to the plot. So, if that means I'm going to lose some readers, then so be it.

Special thanks to those of you who were considerate enough not to choke on your suspicions.

Oh, and.. Reven is © me.

---- -

He had had to tear himself away from it; stumbling backwards, his back crashing against the wall. He covered his mouth with a trembling palm, fingers clenched hastily against his own flesh. Knives was utterly silent, and he could only hear his own breathing; ragged and hoarse, gasping air in great swallows. He had bit down on his lip when he'd hit against the wall, but the blood did nothing to mask the taste of his brother's tongue.

Knives was smiling at him, in a way that was so frighteningly gentle it made him ache. It made him want to crawl into his twin's bed and forgive the parting of lips. He _wanted_ to, so bad that his muscles seemed restless. His head was pounding and there was a building pressure in his sinuses. Christ, he wanted it so bad it hurt. Knives was drawing back the thick coverlet, but before he could gesture for his brother, Vash retreated into the hall, the door shutting loudly behind him.

Knives smiled, waiting until he heard the resounding slam of Vash's bedroom door.

Things were looking much more in his favor every passing day now.

--

Meryl had slept in a manner that was as close to peaceful as she had ever achieved in a very long time. When she was finally roused by the child sun's insistence, she couldn't recall even the vaguest glimpse of her dream to mind, and that was just fine. She felt more optimistic than she had in some time, and that was wonderful. Millions Knives, that awful _thing_ still haunted her, made her more wary than usual; but in spite of that, she felt hopeful. Why, she couldn't quite figure.

She crept from bed and soaked under a hot shower, dressed and then headed down the hall, her hair a damp mop of dark strands. She could smell that heavy aroma of coffee in the air, and she belatedly assumed Milly had simply woken ahead of her.

Oh, how she was so badly mistaken.

The small insurance agent hardly avoided tripping over herself in her hurry to stop, freeze, cease movement. A scream swelled in her chest but died in her throat, and she couldn't have forced out a sound if she'd wanted to.

Vash and Knives were sitting on the small couch (the girls had nabbed it from a garage sale some time ago), side by side. Each of them had a cup of coffee. Knives tipped the ceramic mug to his lips, Vash simply held his in his lap. But God, they looked so alike. They really _were_ twins. Meryl had always wanted to deny it, but seeing them... just beside each other, their relation was made so painfully obvious she thought she'd have cried. Or screamed; but she couldn't manage either at the time.

She felt numb, and the fact that Knives was recovered enough to support himself only feathered the concerns in her mind. Vash glanced up at her, tipping his head in a half-hearted nod. He smiled, but his emotion was so dead it made her feel vulnerable. She smiled back, wan and limp; she hated him when he did that. Pretended to smile. Knives shifted and picked up a piece of paper he had apparently abandoned, re-addressing it with his attention. His sharp blue gaze flickered towards Meryl, but quickly returned to whatever it was he found so enthralling.

A letter, Meryl realized as she surveyed the table in front of them. There were two coasters towards the table's edge, each closest to its own user. Next to Knives' coaster, an envelope lay torn from the top. It wasn't forged with the postal service emblem, so it must have been delivered by the sender. The recipient address was written in ink, a tight scrawl of handwriting. No return address. Knives' name heralded the center of the envelope. Meryl was struck with the burning curiosity of who would know about Knives (that was still alive), let alone where he lived.

She would have questioned the letter, but Vash interrupted her before she could seize the chance. He nodded towards the kitchen, swallowing a portion of his own coffee. "Made some coffee. There's still plenty left."

Her gaze leapt to Vash, gazing at him; and for a moment, they simply stared at each other. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't understand it for the life of her. Not from his eyes—they held too much depth. The tension between them was shattered when he took another drink of his coffee. Meryl suddenly found herself nodding, Knives' letter pushed from her immediate cares. "Oh.. thanks." She didn't comment on the older plant's presence.

Milly joined them little more than 30 minutes later, prattling on about Mr. Knives' health. She didn't mention how sick she had been in the last hour, or how much her head hurt. She smiled, and made the grand suggestion of spending the afternoon outside.

Knives had grinned at the prospect and folded his letter, retreating to his room until it was time to leave.

--

It was nice to be outside, even Meryl had to admit. Hot, maybe, but nice all the same. Milly walked beside her, and Vash kept a confident pace a breadth behind his brother. Knives was acting amazingly calm, too. Had she not gone through that hell the other day, she would have been convinced he'd really changed. Vash seemed exceedingly sullen, and the constant expression of _no real emotion_ tightened Meryl's nerves.

Milly stumbled, and Meryl suddenly realized she had bumped into someone. "Milly! Really, you should be more careful!" Milly's hand rested over her chest and she poured apologies without much reserve. When she finally looked at the man she'd half-collided with, she had to stifle an exclamation. "Oh! You're the man from the church!"

He was just as tall as Vash, if not a centimeter's worth more. He looked much like a haggard (or just lazy) businessman; he wore a formal white shirt which hung out over dark slacks, refusing to tuck the ends in. He didn't wear a tie, but Meryl suspected that if he had, it wouldn't have been very neat. His shoes weren't black, but a nurtured dark brown. They were scuffed. He held a suitcase at his side, black and secure. His hair was a deeply bled red, bangs partially obscuring vivid blue eyes. Darker than Knives', but just as intense. He smiled, raising dark brows and chuckling in a manner that was blessedly good natured. "Oh, yeah. Ye'r that girl who was sleepin in the pew!" He laughed. "Not the best place for a nap, I say, but th'best protected, huh?"

Milly laughed, and Meryl couldn't help but grin. The guy had an accent, but it wasn't thick enough to handicap his speech. His voice was pleasant, really. She could tell that he smoked; after living so long with Wolfwood, she'd learned to recognize that rough gravel in a smoker's voice. Milly stepped forward and clasped the man's hand, shaking it as she gestured to the rest of them. "Yes! I'm sorry I left in such a hurry! I'm Milly Thompson and this is my partner, Meryl Strife! And there, that's Mr. Vash, and his brother Mr. Knives!"

The man was eternally polite through Milly's introduction, flexing his fingers when she let go of his hand. "Nice to meet ye all. I'm Revenent Saint."

"Do you work at the chapel, Mr. Saint?" Milly chimed happily. Knives looked vaguely interested.

"Oh, just Reven. And no, I'm actually here on business. Just got in yesterday, fact."

Knives shifted, nodding towards one of the hotels. "You're staying there?"

Meryl glanced uneasily towards the older plant, wondering why he was being so... social. Vash was watching him too, but she still couldn't tell what was bothering him.

"Yeah, Knives. Just there," Reven's sharp blue eyes locked with Knives' own for a horridly calm moment, and then pointed toward a comfortable-looking hotel. It was called the 'Three Night's Inn.' "It's not such a bad place, really."

Knives smiled and nodded as Milly started a conversation with the guy. _How interesting_, he thought. _Saint's a brave one. More than the others. He has the nerve not to call me Master._


End file.
